Life with Cassidy

Well once again I see that I've neglected this blog for waaaayyy too long! Cassidy is now a whopping 5 years old, although still in preschool, which frankly i think is a wonderful thing. We push our kids too hard these days to "get ahead", which is total b.s. in my estimation. Cass is continuing to evolve into a loving, empathetic, and funny child. The things that come out of this child's mouth are unbelievable. Here's a few samples:
when i gave her some mac and cheese one day, her response was:
"Mama, this mac and cheese is fuckin' AWESOME!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!
Along with the funny comments, true to form, she'll come up with some amazingly intense things. For instance, literally out of the blue one day she says to me, "mama, is it true that the Bhuddists hold the whole world in their hands?" I seriously about fell over. I checked with all of the adults in her life to see if anyone had talked to her about this and they all said no. She also has such a sweet and spiritual side to her, which again, not surprising being my child. She decided that "god was like air, because air is all around you!" Now, anyone who knows me will also know that I've never pushed any kind of dogma or even naming convention for a higher power. She came up with this on her own. She went through a really psychic period for awhile as well, where she was "seeing" people in the house. This was a little unsettling for me because I was a single mom, and it freaked me out a little bit to observe her suddenly starting past me, over my shoulder and asking me about who the "scary people" were. One night while we were in bed together she asked me, "mama, why is that soldier standing at the end of the bed?" yeah, creepy.
This amazing ability also has huge rewards. Recently, my mom's cousin Gail died. I was absolutely heartbroken, and was priviledged enough to be a part of her dying process, as hard and sad as that was. When I told Cassidy that Gail was sick, she immediately saw right through me and said, "mama, are you sad because aunt gail might die?" And i had to answer her, it was a direct question. So I said, yes, that is why i'm sad. Her response was, "oh mama, it's ok. At least you'll have her spirit to guide you....." I still can't relay this story without crying. So sweet.
My darling child could not be any more amazing. She is a very happy and well adjusted child, thank god. I'll leave you all with one last funny:
we were having fish for dinner one night, specifically Ono, a Hawaiian fish. When i asked cassidy what we should have with our Ono, her reply was, "how about some "yes please" "!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahhaah! she thought i was saying "oh, no!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAAAA! ahhhhh i love that kid!

Well, sadly it's been over a year since i've added to this blog, and suffice to say, lots of changes. Cassidy's dad and i have divorced, so she now has two homes. She is with her dad a few days a week, then with us the rest. I am getting remarried in July, to a wonderful man, Mark. He's an awesome step daddy to Cass, and she does love him. It's been extremely difficult on me, but the good news is that she is a happy and well adjusted little girl. She's four years old now, going to her second preschool, the Opal School inside the Children's Museum. Wow, who gets to go to preschool there?? That's pretty cool! Her teachers, Nicole and Blake tell me it's like having a cheerleader in class all the time. She's hilarious, and at the moment working to refine her new knock knock jokes. She's incredibly social, although still clingy to mama when i'm around. She's finally sleeping in her own bed, and my next step is to help her fall asleep without holding mommy's hand. that's all for now, but i'll keep everyone updated.

Labels: another post, Finally

"Always Eat Nuts" and other funnies!
So last night Eric and I were hanging out with Cassidy in her room. She was playing on her bed, explaining that she like to pretend it's a rocket ship. So Eric started asking her questions about her spaceship, and if she wanted to see some real astronauts and a real spaceshuttle, since the Discovery just landed. She said yes, and we kept talking. A little bit later she looked at Eric and said, "you be always eat nuts!" We were like, "What??" Cassidy is usually pretty clear with her sentances, and this one just didn't make sense. Eric started laughing all of a sudden and said, "OH... are you trying to say "astronauts"?!! " HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! We both just started cracking up! I suppose astronauts could sound like "always eat nuts" to a 2 year old!! Sooo funny!
On another note: NO MORE DIAPERS!!!! About three weeks ago I had to work from home on both a friday and a monday, so I sort of had it in my head that it would be a good time for potty-learning boot camp! Well, wouldn't you know it, but that very morning Cassidy actually asked for her big girl undies! I couldn't believe it! So of course I said yes, and we never looked back. She has done amazingly well, totally rocked the potty learning! She had very few accidents over those four days, and continues to do really well. We still have the occasional accident, but I always make sure to let her know that it's no big deal, and we'll just try again. I think she's often a little surprised when she finds a poop in her undies!! Hasn't quite made the connection there yet, and of course pee is so immediate, there's no missing a wet leg!
We also went to the first annual Natural Parenting Retreat at Breitenbush, and met some wonderful people. I'm hoping to get Cassidy into a wonderful Waldorf preschool with some of her friends from the retreat. We'll see how that goes. Eric and I are in discussions now about what type of education she should have. I really love both the Living Wisdom and Waldorf schools, but he's of course concerned that with no grades, and no GPA she won't be able to get into colleges. I'm going to check on that issue, because of course i want her to have all the opportunities in the world, but public school is just out of the question. We'll see!

2 1/2 Casserole

Cassidy's nanny Heidi likes to call her by cute little nicknames, like "cassers" or "cass". One day she and her friend Rachel were talking to Cassidy, and called her "cassarole". Rachel asked Cassidy if she was a tuna casserole, and she replied, "no, i'm a 2 1/2 casserole!!" Isn't that hysterical??? sooo funny! Rachel and Heidi were blown away too, because it's just amazing how her mind works. She is just so smart and funny and wonderful. On the way home yesterday she said she wished the sky were dark, so she could see the moon and stars. I suggested we go home and make cut outs of a moon and some stars to hang from her playroom ceiling. So I cut them out, and she colored on them, and named on star the "mommy" star, and the other one was the "cassidy" star! We had a great time! Then I got a phone call, and she literally climbed up into my lap and fell asleep! Really, how many 2 year olds do YOU know that will just crawl up on your lap and quietly fall asleep? Amazing.
Speaking of amazing, I'm reading a wonderful new book called "Magical Parent, Magical Child; the Art of Joyful Parenting." I won't go into a full explanation now, but it has really opened my eyes to the theories of optimum learning, and also state specific learning. The basic theory is that all learning is associated with the emotion felt during the learning moment. If you teach a child to kick a ball, for instance, but get angry when they dont' follow the mechanics, then they will have a lifelong distrust and anxiety associated with that lesson. If, on the other hand, you let the child simply kick the ball, rather than focusing on the spin, or velocity or whatever, they will develop a lifelong LOVE of that learning. It was validating in a way, because I naturally strive to make each experience fun for Cassidy. For some reason, she really hates to wash her hands. Well, we have to do it, but I always first acknowledge that she doesn't like to do it, and then I ask "How can we make this fun?" I've literally gone so far as to put water in a bowl, with a towel and some soap, under the dining room table to play a hand washing game! oh brother! And when we brush our teeth, I tell her there's animals in her mouth, and we have to brush them out. That makes her laugh, and then a chore becomes fun. The whole idea is parenting in the "zone". We'll see how I do. Wonder what she'll tell her therapist about this someday?! HAHAHAHAAAA!!

It no good, it no good, it no good, baby, it no good......
Cassidy has a new favorite song. Yes, you guessed it, "You're No Good". I have the original, done by Betty Everett, and re-recorded by Linda Ronstadt. Every time we get in the car, she immediately says, " i wanna hear "it no good babay" song"! It's so funny! although after the 14th time in a row, it's not quite as amusing, but still, it cracks me up. She does love specific kid stuff, like Laurie Berkner, and such, but her two favorite songs right now are this one, and "Clocks" by Coldplay. That's a favorite of mine as well.... so i'm guessing there's a connection there!
Her verbal skills continue to grow. She uses the word "habitat" frequently, in context, and without prompting. We are now working on the concept of rhyming. She definitely gets it, but isn't quite able to find words that rhyme on her own. Pretty good for being only 2 1/2! The other day we were at the park, and she befriended a slightly older little girl. When we both had to leave, Cassidy looked at her little friend and said, "I'm sorry you have to leave, but I'm so glad to have seen you!" I almost fell over!! "I'm so sorry to have seen you!!" unbelievable! Oh, and last night, she actually corrected her own grammar. I asked her if she'd done something, and said, "oh, did you do that?" and she said "yes, i do that". Then she stopped, and said, "no, no , I DID that, not I do it. " I was like, "yes, that's right honey! good grammar!" The child never ceases to amaze me.

She's so grown up!!

It has occured to me that Cassidy is a very old soul. I remember thinking this when she was born, just something about her seemed wise before her time, but i just couldn't put my finger on it. I'm sure all parents think their child is special in their own way, but now that Cassidy is so verbal, I can really see it. I swear the child sees right through people. This is most evident by who she'll let touch her. She does not like people just reaching out to touch her, she never did. I think that's an awesome trait! She's very cautious, but once she warms up to you, she'll talk and laugh and sing! But she generally won't let you hold her. She is now telling me that she sees "scary people". This started not to long ago, when she wouldn't walk up the stairs without me. I asked her why not, and she pointed to the top of the stairs and said there were "scary people" up there. Thinking she meant people outside the front door, i opened it and showed her that there wasn't anyone there. She patiently corrected me and said the people were in the foyer. I asked her what they were doing, and she said, "building a door". I asked where the door led.... and out of nowhere she said, "to the church"!!! I was totally blown away! I looked at her and asked if she really did see scary people and she was really adamant, saying "yes mommy, i really do!!" and I said, "you know what Cassidy? I believe you." So i've been supporting her with these "sightings", and really trying to validate what she "sees". Eric on the other hand, thinks both of us are crazy! He'll correct her and say, "no, there's no one there" but i wish he wouldn't. Children have the ability to see things we as adults can no longer see. So I just let her go with it. She also occasionally talks about her friend "Tasha". I have no idea where she got that name, and so I ask her about her friend a lot. Sometimes Tasha (or the scary people) are standing right behind me!!! that really freaks me out when she says that. Or, sometimes Tasha is cleaning the house, although I seem to still have to vacuum after Tasha!! But it's very exciting to see Cassidy form a rich imaginary world. It's very healthy and very good for her intellectually. There are so many things I continue to look forward to with her, and reading these past blogs reminds me of how sweet this journey has been so far. As much as I want a second child, I will miss the one on one time we've been so priviledged to have with Cass.

Ok, it's now been at least a year since i've posted, probably longer! Shameful! Cassidy is no 2.5 years old, and is pure joy. She is talking non stop, and now that Eric is back at work, she stays home with her nanny, Heidi. We love Heidi! She's done wonders with Cassidy, and we've just really seen her blossom. She is such a good natured kid, and really, the terrible twos are non existent for her. She does have some temper tantrums sometimes, which is normal, but i just let her work through it. The issues we face with her now are more related to discipline. My goal is to say "yes" more than "no". I have to get really creative with her, but it's super fun! She's taking swim lessons now, and loves them, but she's a true non conformist! She really just marches to her own beat, which i absolutely love. She's also really into her new Laurie Berkner CD, called Buzz Buzz. She'll sing along to all the songs, and we have an entire choreography to go along ! It's unbelievably cute! Her hair is finally growing too, and we can actually put it up in pig tails!!! She's just a peach, sweet in every single way. We pretty much adore her!