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Every day with my little one is a new experience, and a reminder of how sweet and simple life really is. Even with yukky diapers.
Wednesday, June 25, 2003
The Love of our Lives
I've waited my whole life for this baby. And I have to say, so far she's really met all my expectations! I suppose most mothers would say that, but really, I mean it. She's so sweet and funny. We just started swim lessons, and yesterday I took her to the pool to swim around. She's only 8 months old, but she did great! We even went underwater, which I have to admit made me more nervous than her. Apparantly at this age, they don't have an innate fear of water, I'm guessing because it wasn't that long since they were surrounded by it. She's starting to teeth now, so she's a little bit uncomfortable, but really is a trooper! If I had all those teeth coming in at once, I'd be crying all the time! But she really just wants me to hold her alot, which I do. I indulge her quite a bit in that area. I'm sure many people wouldn't agree with my belief in attachment parenting, but I've surprised myself and really do think that it's good for the child. And she's been so incredibly adaptable. We did co sleep until she was six months old, then Eric put the brakes on that. He was right to get her into her crib, but it was a painful transition for me. Last night though, was a good example of why it's best for her to be in her crib; Eric was at rehearsal, and I was so tired i just finally brought her back into bed with me. She did fall asleep, but not before pummelling me with her little feet. She's a big twister in bed, and she'll roll closer and closer until she's just snuggled up against you. But then the kicking starts! I realized that I too slept better with her in her own crib, but I'm so incredibly glad I had the first six months with her. I'd do it again with the next one.
Cassidy is really a very sweet child. I'm going to have a real problem if other kids ever pick on her. It's going to be my first instinct to want to read them the riot act, but I know I can't do that. It would be a disservice to her if I were to intervene each time she faced a challenge. It was kind of funny, but I got a glimpse of how challenging this is going to be. We were at a party and there was another little girl Cassidy's age there too. The first thought I had (shame on me!) was that Cassidy was so much cuter!! That's horrible!! Then I watched how Cassidy reacted to this girl-- she was so excited, reaching out for her, wanting to make friends. Well this other little girl had just woken up, and was kind of out of it and not really paying any attention to Cass. I truly wanted to reach out and shake her and say "Hey! Pay attention! Cassidy wants to make friends!" Ok, hello! High strung mommy!
Speaking of high strung mommy.....I'm now actually considering growing my own food. I find myself incredibly motivated to make sure I give her the best of everything, including nutrition. We went to another party (these are family friendly parties...) and one of my friends who gave birth a week after me and stays home with her baby thought I was crazy for making all of Cassidy's baby food. But I realize there is so little I can control, and Cassidy's well-being is something I can influence, so I do. I'm very strict about buying only organic vegetables and fruits, but I really think that since we can do it, we should grow our own. I'm so motivated when it comes to Cass, I've never felt that way about anything before. Certainly I wouldn't be motivated to take this good care of myself.......although I've noticed that I too have started to benefit by eating more vegetables and exercising more, to make sure I'm strong and healthy for Cassidy. It's all for her.
I also noticed that I'm experiencing a great deal of mommy guilt. I dont' think that will ever end. I feel great about having Eric home with her, it would be tragic if I had to put her in daycare. But I'M her mommy, and when those little arms reach out for me, I feel like I should always be there for her. As a result, I feel like when I get home I should just concentrate on her, and really play with her. Sometimes it's overload for her because she doesn't need structured, learning play all the time, and it over stimulates her to have me in her face with all these toys that blink and beep. So I'm trying to balance out active play and just holding her. Sometimes I just don't know what she wants, but I do know that if she cries, I always pick her up and comfort her, and that will never change.
I've waited my whole life for this baby. And I have to say, so far she's really met all my expectations! I suppose most mothers would say that, but really, I mean it. She's so sweet and funny. We just started swim lessons, and yesterday I took her to the pool to swim around. She's only 8 months old, but she did great! We even went underwater, which I have to admit made me more nervous than her. Apparantly at this age, they don't have an innate fear of water, I'm guessing because it wasn't that long since they were surrounded by it. She's starting to teeth now, so she's a little bit uncomfortable, but really is a trooper! If I had all those teeth coming in at once, I'd be crying all the time! But she really just wants me to hold her alot, which I do. I indulge her quite a bit in that area. I'm sure many people wouldn't agree with my belief in attachment parenting, but I've surprised myself and really do think that it's good for the child. And she's been so incredibly adaptable. We did co sleep until she was six months old, then Eric put the brakes on that. He was right to get her into her crib, but it was a painful transition for me. Last night though, was a good example of why it's best for her to be in her crib; Eric was at rehearsal, and I was so tired i just finally brought her back into bed with me. She did fall asleep, but not before pummelling me with her little feet. She's a big twister in bed, and she'll roll closer and closer until she's just snuggled up against you. But then the kicking starts! I realized that I too slept better with her in her own crib, but I'm so incredibly glad I had the first six months with her. I'd do it again with the next one.
Cassidy is really a very sweet child. I'm going to have a real problem if other kids ever pick on her. It's going to be my first instinct to want to read them the riot act, but I know I can't do that. It would be a disservice to her if I were to intervene each time she faced a challenge. It was kind of funny, but I got a glimpse of how challenging this is going to be. We were at a party and there was another little girl Cassidy's age there too. The first thought I had (shame on me!) was that Cassidy was so much cuter!! That's horrible!! Then I watched how Cassidy reacted to this girl-- she was so excited, reaching out for her, wanting to make friends. Well this other little girl had just woken up, and was kind of out of it and not really paying any attention to Cass. I truly wanted to reach out and shake her and say "Hey! Pay attention! Cassidy wants to make friends!" Ok, hello! High strung mommy!
Speaking of high strung mommy.....I'm now actually considering growing my own food. I find myself incredibly motivated to make sure I give her the best of everything, including nutrition. We went to another party (these are family friendly parties...) and one of my friends who gave birth a week after me and stays home with her baby thought I was crazy for making all of Cassidy's baby food. But I realize there is so little I can control, and Cassidy's well-being is something I can influence, so I do. I'm very strict about buying only organic vegetables and fruits, but I really think that since we can do it, we should grow our own. I'm so motivated when it comes to Cass, I've never felt that way about anything before. Certainly I wouldn't be motivated to take this good care of myself.......although I've noticed that I too have started to benefit by eating more vegetables and exercising more, to make sure I'm strong and healthy for Cassidy. It's all for her.
I also noticed that I'm experiencing a great deal of mommy guilt. I dont' think that will ever end. I feel great about having Eric home with her, it would be tragic if I had to put her in daycare. But I'M her mommy, and when those little arms reach out for me, I feel like I should always be there for her. As a result, I feel like when I get home I should just concentrate on her, and really play with her. Sometimes it's overload for her because she doesn't need structured, learning play all the time, and it over stimulates her to have me in her face with all these toys that blink and beep. So I'm trying to balance out active play and just holding her. Sometimes I just don't know what she wants, but I do know that if she cries, I always pick her up and comfort her, and that will never change.
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