Life with Cassidy

Daddy’s little girl, num-nums, and the breastfeeding blues…..

Boy, last night was a rude awakening! Let’s talk about Daddy’s little girl first. Now, I’ve been warned by a good friend of mine that kids will tend to gravitate toward one parent or the other at any given time, but with Cassidy, it’s been all about mommy. Until now. I got home yesterday and she was taking a nap, so I got the rare chance to actually take a shower. When she woke up I went in to get her, and she just sort of looked at me like, “hmmm…you again.” I didn’t really give it too much of a thought, but I did notice she wasn’t exactly jumping out of her skin to see me. Normally, I get a big smile and she’ll play with me straight away, but not yesterday. So I brought her out to the living room and started to play with her, and I swear, she looked like she was pretty much just tolerating me. She kept looking around like, "where's daddy?" Eric had gone running, and when he got home, you should have seen the HUGE smile she gave him!! It was like she’d been waiting her whole life for him to get home! Then after he went to take a shower, she got fussy so I tried to give her a bottle. She wouldn’t take it. Eric came out and offered to try. Oh yes, she took it from him no problem! I couldn’t believe it! I just sighed, put my head down and said, “I’ll be downstairs in case anybody needs me…..” Eric started laughing…. however I did not find it funny at all! She perked up later on, but I couldn’t believe it. Here, just a few weeks ago it was ALL about mommy. And now, I’m not even an occasional food source!

Speaking of food sources, in an attempt to see if we could re-bond, I actually offered her num-nums last night. It was really funny. I said “Well, let’s just see what her reaction is.” She wouldn’t even latch on! At first she kind of went for it, but then she backed off, cracked a huge smile, and looked at both of us like, “Are you kidding me? I’m sooooo over this!” I had to see the humor in it, but at the same time, I really miss nursing her. About a week after I stopped nursing, I got really depressed, possibly because all that groovy oxytocin quit flowing through my veins. I really miss that connection with her. I miss co sleeping, I miss her being just a teeny tiny, (she seems so big now!) and in general I just miss all the close, snuggly times with her. Eric gets all that now. She used to wake in our bed with daddy every day up until about a month ago, when she was able to get back to sleep in her own crib. And even now, if she wakes up early, Eric can snuggle down with her on the couch and she’ll cuddle and fall back asleep. Do you think she’ll do that with me?? Ohhhh nooo. My one Ace in the hole was nursing, and now even that’s gone. And I realize that kids bounce back and forth between parents, but it's really hard to take. So I'm going back to my attachment parenting roots: the sling!! I figure if I carry her around more, she'll realize that I truly am the coolest, right?... right?..........

for more resources on attachment parenting, check out Mothering Magazine site: http://www.mothering.com/